Finding Your Happy Place: Part 12

Count Your Blessings

One of my favorite sayings and the catch phrase of my blog is, "Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll."  In other words, you should count your blessings, not your "curses." If you concentrate on the things you have to feel gunuinely happy about you'll be far happier than you would be by dwelling on the negative things.

Try to think about things you have to be happy about. If your in a deep rut you might have to start by being happy you can breathe or grateful the hands on your watch can move. Eventually if you keep thinking about it, you'll realize you have a whole lot to be happy about.

Much love
~Daisy

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 11

Laugh.

This post can really be summed up in that one magical, powerful word.  The simple act of laughing releases powerful endorphin's and makes you feel good and happy. Laughter is also contagious, when others laugh with you it creates a social connection which will also increase your happiness quotient.

So do whatever you have to do. Read a web-comic, or a daily joke. Listen to the comedy station on the radio, or watch a funny movie. Tell the person sitting next to you at the coffee shop that silly joke you haven't thought about since grade school, even if it's cheesy it'll probably make both of you laugh.

Fill the world with the sounds of he-he-he, ha-ha-ha, e-haw e-haw e-haw, hic-hic-hic, etc.

Eve of DISCtruction

Picture on the dry erase board
I got for the captains to explain
the game to the new players
 and  show strategy. 

I'll bet your probably thinking, what a weird title. Well, that's the name of Daniel's ultimate frisbee team. Since, I can't play this season, I've designated myself official cheerleader and photographer, and plan to carry out these duties to the best of my abilities for each game I am able to attend.

This week they played against Dark Slime. It was a hard fought battle, both teams played really well and the score was too close to matter. Especially since it was a pre-season scrimmage match. But, there were still prizes to be awarded.

Havasu Falls Backpacking Trip

Daniel and I at the beginning of our grand adventure. 

Our trip to Havasu Falls was fantastic. We had so much fun and learned a lot about our limits. We achieved a massive hike, slept under the stars, ate dehydrated food, swam in the falls, and rode in a helicopter. I'd say that's a successful adventure. Here's the whole story.

First look at the climb down,
check out that nervous, excited expression.

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 10

Be Here Now

I've been thinking a lot lately about the future. Big things that could change, small things that could too, and plenty of things that could just stay the same. A lot of the changes are scary, and plenty of them are exciting too.

But, in all this thinking, i.e. worrying, about things to come I have forgotten to notice what is happening around me this week, today, this hour, this very minute. I have forgotten to recognize the passing of moments and how important each and every one of those moments are.

I need this and I'm sure that many of you could use it as well. So, try to take a break from worrying about things to come and focus instead on what is happening around you right now.

Photo Frame Dry Erase Calendar

Like so many others, I've been getting inspiration from Pinterest lately. I hadn't acted on that inspiration too much until today. This morning I didn't have much to do so, I made a dry erase calendar to hang on my office wall next to my desk. I spend a lot of my spare time in that room so I thought that would be a good place.

Depending on how I feel I might move it to the kitchen, or right by the front door. We'll see. (The color scheme will go with any room in my house so it doesn't matter much really)

Anyway how was this made. Well simple. My mom and dad gave me this collage photo frame last Christmas.(free) I have a ridiculous pile of tissue paper leftover from various gift giving experiences(sorta free) and a expo marker(already owned several).

So, I cut the tissue paper to the size of the frame and put it inside. I made sure the color of the paper was light enough so the black would show up when I wrote on the glass. Then voila, perfect.

I really like the soft, almost whispered, color of the tissue paper.(It looks a lot brighter in the picture than it does in real life)

Spoiler Alert: I'm going to Havasu Falls, so there will be pictures of that are probably coming soon. 

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 9

Develop An Attitude of Gratitude

Say thank you! It's as simple as that.

For some though, this might take some time to adjust. My suggestion is to do as my old college professor once told me. Put three paperclips in your pocket. Each paperclip represents one sincere expression of gratitude. As you go about your day, remember the paperclips in your pocket and say thank you. When you do move one paperclip to the other pocket, and repeat until all of the paperclips have moved to the other side.

Then when you think you are really ready for a challenge. Once a month write a thank you letter to someone who has helped you in a significant way. Your happiness will increase and so will theirs. Expressing your gratitude make your happiness levels skyrocket and it's basically the easiest thing in the world. Right?

Say thank you, and experience the benefits! :)

~Daisy

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 8

Forgive Everyone

The importance of forgiveness is huge, ginormous even. I'm not even going to explain what forgiveness is, because fundamentally you already know. You've known every since you were a tiny tiny child and you overlooked when a peer took a toy from your stack to borrow for a few seconds and you decided it was ok to share just this once, even if they did steal it, and let them have it without contest.

"Breathe and Pray"

The past couple of weeks I've been a bit down on my luck. Here's a list of some of the unfortunate events: lost my glasses while rafting on the Animas River(had to wear sunglasses full time for two weeks), one of my campers flipped over her handle bars while biking and I had to take her to the ER to get stitches(talk about paperwork), misinterpreted directions and got lost for almost an hour somewhere between Colorado and Flagstaff, one of my campers became severely dehydrated and had to be taken to the ER(that's definitely one to grow on), had a blown out tire in the middle of nowhere Utah, nearly ran out of gas in the middle of the night on a rocky curvy mountainous road. 


Now, how in the world did I make it through all of that without having a major panic attack? Well for that I have to say thanks Mom for your infinite wisdom. She has always told me something like this, "When things get hard just breathe and pray, because life is what happens when you are busy making plans."  Each time something difficult happened, I'd find myself repeating that over and over in my head, taking that nugget of wisdom and using it to help me out. I found it relaxed me and in some cases I even shared it with my campers and they found it helpful too. 


Do you have any inspirational quotes from your childhood that help you out? If so please share, if not I hope you can use this one. :) 




~Daisy 

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 7

Practice Compassion

I recently discovered there are some people that I genuinely cannot stand. They get under my skin, push my buttons, and all the other silly phrases people use to describe relational stress. However, upon realizing this, I have also realized that these people give me an excellent opportuinity to challenge myself to PRACTICE compassion.

Tidbit #11 : Crying Doesn't Indicate Weakness

I have heard many people tell me they hate crying for many different reasons, but most of them are rooted in the idea that crying makes you seem weak. I believe crying proves exactly the opposite. It is a process of strengthening the soul. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.

Tomato Turmoil

I'm struggling a bit today with accepting the security of my new living space. Someone stole my potted tomato plant from my back porch a couple days ago. I put a lot of energy into keeping it alive and caring for it. It saddens me that someone would just take something that was so important to me.

I know that I can always grow another one, but it stinks that I won't get anymore fresh tomatoes this season.

Your support is appreciated. If anyone in Phoenix/Tempe, AZ has tomatoes growing, I would be so happy to take a few off your hands. :)

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 6

Judge Not

It is important for us to learn to understand and accept each others' differences. Each and every person is raised with different values, customs, and norms. All of these shape who we are and we change who we become throughout our lives.

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 5

Make Haste to Be Kind

My Grandmother has always been an outstanding example of what it means to be kind. She is constantly doing something nice for someone. She makes pillows for patients at a cancer hospital. She takes care of her neighbors houses and mail collection when they are gone on vacation. She buys food, clothing, and even gasoline for her friends and family on a regular basis. She smiles.  She always has something nice to say and can make conversation with anyone she meets.

For all of these reasons, my grandmother makes friends everywhere she goes, on the bus into the city, in a crowded restaurant waiting for service, in the line for security at the airport, at the park, and even at the grocery store. These simple actions are a big part of what helps her to feel happy. And it's easy as pie, which means you can do it too.

You may think you can't because it seems it will cost you time and money, but it doesn't have too. Simply smiling at someone, or using nice phrases upon arrival and departure(good morning, thanks for all the help, your service was excellent, you smell nice, etc.)  can make a big impact on someone's day, and can make you feel super. See my post about smiles.

Do nice things for others, expecting nothing in return and your soul and spirit will benefit.

Frustrated Reader

The Question: 


I'm 17, and had a traumatic relationship and break up. I love the guy but he was borderline abusive and once even raped me, though I'm pretty sure he didn't realize it was rape because I didn't say no. I developed depression and anxiety and am seeking therapy for that. He told a lot of people we knew things that I couldn't really explain myself about because I felt ashamed about how I'd been treated. I tried to be the bigger person and be friends. I apologized for my part and asked for an apology in return but he wouldn't and the relationship ended horribly. (I will not go into any more detail than that) 

Recently though, I met a wonderful guy. I have been with him for several months now. I seriously can't speak highly enough for him. He has been my rock when I really needed him. He is patient, caring, loving, and kind. So what's the problem right? Well I was desperate for the apology from my ex and was being friendly and working with him. I thought if my new boyfriend could have a word with him to explain that what he did was out of line and that I deserved and apology, then maybe it would happen. My boyfriend chose to do nothing. I brought it up to him again when I was very angry and upset(bad idea) and he still chose to do nothing. It has created a distance in our relationship. We sometimes have the perfect relationship, but there is often resentment and coldness. He is frustrated he can't make me happy and I'm frustrated he would leave me alone in this battle. No one has really stood up for me in all this and I thought I could rely on him. I forgive him for not doing it every time, but each day I feel betrayed as he does nothing, while watching me crumble. Every time I see my ex I remember the abuse and it hurts for me and my new relationship. Something needs to change, because right now I'm unhappy even though I have everything I have ever wanted. Should I end a great relationship because of one thing that bothers me?

Daisy's Answer: 

Thanks for your question. It has several sections and has a lot I can cover, so my answer will be in many parts as well. 

First off it sound like you may not be sure if your relationship with your ex was abusive or not. Please check out the  Love Is Respect website. It has lots of useful tools to help you determine if your relationship is abusive, and tips on what to do about it. 


I am really proud of you for seeking therapeutic help for your depression and anxiety. Therapy can help almost everyone. You were able to admit to yourself there was a problem and seek help to solve it, that shows you have strong character. 


Remember that an apology loses it's value if you expect something in return or say something like..."I'm sorry for what I did BUT..." Adding that but at the end makes the apology worthless. You can't go back and change what you've already done but you can continue to give you apology without any expectations. 


I am very happy that you met someone who will treat you well. Every woman needs to be loved by someone who respects them. However, you are holding on to a grudge from a previous relationship that is tainting your current relationship. Whatever your ex did, is not the fault of your current boyfriend. His wish to not get involved is his way of saying he doesn't want to be a part of something like that. He doesn't want to hurt you or anyone else, that is a good thing. Do not ask your current boyfriend to be a go between for you and someone you used to date. That puts him in a very awkward situation. Do you think you would want to talk to someone he says he loved before you?


You need to except that what is in the past is in the past and let it go. Do not break up with this guy if the only reason is he won't talk to your ex for you.  The mature thing to do is either let it go or confront the problem yourself. I know that you have the courage and strength to do either one. 


Please continue your search for happiness and keep me updated on how things are going in your personal journey. 


Daisy <3

Question from A Reader

I got my first question from a reader today!!! I am so excited to have to opportunity to maybe offer a little help to this person. She has given me permission to post her question and my answer. I will be doing that within the next 5 hours. YAY!


Let's keep the questions coming, email me yours! :)

Tidbit #10: Smile

Once I was on a train headed into the city an elderly woman noticed me and asked if I was having a hard day. She said I looked a little grumpy. I told her I was sleepy, which was true. She said if I just put on a smile the world would seem a lot brighter. She passed the smile to me and I passed it on to many other people as I walked around the city that day. 

I was reading an article in National Geographic the other day that talked about people smiling. It said that the average adult only smiles 5 times a day. Infants on the other hand smile more that 400 times a day. When did that happen. Our bodies need us to smile so that we produce let stress-inducing hormones, and more endorphins.

You don't have to talk to smile, you just change your face. It helps you and it helps others. win/win
Smiles are contagious. Use them. Making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Start small.  Start now.

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 4

Feel Your Feelings

This may be the hardest step in the process of finding happiness for many people. But it is very important.
Feelings can help lead you to the decisions that will lead to your happiness, ignoring them can lead you down a path that will make you stagnate. Open up your feelings and let them flow. You do not have to wear them on your sleeve, but in private let them out fully.

Tidbit #9: You Cannot Change What You Refuse To Confront

You cannot change what you refuse to confront.


Whether your issue is with yourself, your friend(s), your family, your society, your school, your employer, or whatever else. Nothing will be done about it if you don't man up and point out what is going on. That said, do not be the all time complainer, rather say what is necessary and offer solutions. Your life will be much happier when you have found ways to make it easier for everyone.

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 3

Give Up the Delusion of Control

As my mother often says, "Life is what happens while you are busy making plans." 

It is normal to think if you have a plan things will go the way you want them too. However, perfect execution of even the best laid plans is rare.  It is important for us to realize that there will never be a time when the world works exactly to what we see is our benefit. But, don't let that get you down, but things tend to have a rising up point even when you can't see it yourself. So work as hard as you can to stick to your plans, goals, dreams, etc. but when things don't work out don't look at it as failure, but rather as opportunity for growth in a new direction. Life is full of wondrous twists and turns. That, my friends, is what makes it so interesting.

Go ahead and notice all the life that is happening all around you at this very moment, and every moment after that. 

Tidbit #8: Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect

What is perfection? Take a moment and really think about it. You'd probably describe something like an unbelievably physically beautiful person, who never makes mistakes, is beyond brilliant, and liked by everyone, or something equally unattainable. It is not possible for anyone person to be all of those things, it's nearly impossible to be even one of those things. 


Nobody is perfect, nobody has it easy. Everyone has their own unique struggles, that's a part of what makes us who we are. Belittling yourself or anyone else based on their imperfections is wrong. You never know what people are going through. Everybody is fighting their own unique battles on the road to their own success. 


Stop trying to be perfect, it's unattainable, rather try to be the best you can be and leave it at that. Accept and learn from your mistakes. Move on and be happy. And remember nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. 

Tidbit #7: Feeling Lonely and Unmotivated? Get Outside!

If you're feeling lonely and unmotivated, it's likely you haven't spent much of your free time anywhere but on your couch. Well it's time to get up off that couch and do something with your life. Getting back to the basics of human nature can often be beneficial, as proven by multiple scientific studies.It's simple really, just letting the sun shine on your face for a little while can make a world of difference. I'm not suggesting you try to take a month in the wilderness(unless that's really your cup of tea, then by all means go for it), but a short trip to the park for a picnic, or just to sit under a tree with a good book.&nbsp;The wind on your face, the sounds of wildlife, all of it is very therapeutic. Give it a try, I promise you will benefit.


This is my recommendation for most people. It tends to work quite well as a happy place(a place you go to clear your head and think happy thoughts)Other suggestions will be covered in my next post, finding your happy space.

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 2

Decide If You Want To Be Right Or Happy

I hear people say all the time, "If only they'd listen to me, they'd know I am right."

Many of us grow up in an environment that conditions us to believe the world should work a certain way. We model our behaviors after our parents, communities, and other people around us. We learn the "right" ways to make the world go round. Every other person in the world has this same experience learning a different "right." It is natural to continue believing that your "right" is the only right way things should work, but it is not effective. As a group of individuals functioning together it is important to establish a new "right" or to combine what we have learned and compromise, that is the key to finding happiness and acceptance.

So don't let go of the things you hold near and dear, but be flexible and allow other to show you different ways to do and see things. You might find something, better suited or more efficient.

Finding Your Happy Place: Part 1

This will be the first post in a string of post, that I intend to write regularly.

Give Yourself Permission To Be Happy

The first step in finding your happy place is giving yourself permission to be happy. That might sound silly because it seems natural that you already have permission to be happy, but for most people it is a subconscious thought that blocks you from letting yourself be happy. You think you owe something to someone, (parents, kids, significant other, boss, the world, etc.) But, I have some news for you:: YOU DON'T OWE UNHAPPINESS TO ANYONE. Regardless of what anyone has down for you or what they expect you to do, you don't owe them your personal happiness. In order for you to fill others needs you must fill your own first.
                                
I find that writing thoughts down can be the most effective way to rid them from your mind. So take some time, jot down all the people you feel you owe something too, even if it's something simple like. "I owe my mom my life because she birthed me." When you have finished that, burn it, delete it, trash, whatever just get rid of it in some way. (Optional:: Or even better you could send it to me for use in my future explanations on finding your happy place, and discussions.)

After you've done that, say out-loud "I give myself permission to be happy." And now you've made the first steps towards finding your happy place.